I have always felt like a child in my soul, but somewhere along the way, that little Marija disappeared.
For years, I was so focused on my job and everything that needed to be done, first in Croatia and then after moving to Ireland nine years ago. I was always rushing, working and chasing something bigger. Life became about responsibilities, worries and whatever needed to happen next.
My children are now almost 11 and 14. Recently, I stopped and really looked at how much they had grown, and it made me think about their childhood. It made me a little sad because I realised that I had been rushing for too long.
Then my phone started showing me old photographs and videos, from the time they were still in my belly and throughout all the little stages of their childhood. They reminded me that we really did have such lovely times together.
One photograph with my son brought back a particularly sweet memory. I was pregnant with his little sister at the time. He was colouring while I sewed buttons in different colours onto a plain white shirt and his little teddy bear. It was nothing grand or perfectly planned, just the two of us creating something together while we waited for our family to grow.
We danced, sang, drew, coloured, cut things out, made a mess and laughed together. Looking back now, I realise that those simple moments were some of the most precious ones.
Then school started, new worries arrived, and life simply happened. I enrolled in college here in Ireland, continued working and became even busier. Somewhere in all of that, I forgot how important it is to enjoy the little things, which, in the end, are often the only things that truly matter.
Through all these years, my husband has been my biggest support. He has somehow managed to cope with all my silly ideas, and believe me, there have been many! 😂 Even now, as I fill our home with paper, stickers, ribbons and plans for Daisy Mae, he supports every new idea I come up with. I probably don’t tell him often enough how much that means to me.
My daughter will be 11 in one month, and through her, I am beginning to rediscover so many things I once enjoyed. She loves drawing and decorating her notebooks, and now we have started scrapbooking together.
I have never considered myself artistic, and I am definitely not trying to become an artist. If I have one natural creative talent, it is probably making an enormous mess! 😂
It makes me laugh because, at work, I am very organised, focused and sometimes perhaps a little too direct. But when I sit down with paper, stickers, ribbons and glue, everything ends up everywhere, and I am learning to be completely fine with that.
For years, I thought a hobby had to be something you were especially good at. Now I understand that it can simply be something you enjoy. I don’t need to create anything perfect. I just want to relax, have fun and spend time doing something that makes me feel like myself again.
We use anything that makes us happy, such as ribbons, gift tags, pretty packaging, magazine cutouts, pressed flowers and little pieces of wrapping paper. The other day, I bought a candle, and inside the box was the loveliest decoration covered in daisies. Honestly, it made me happier than the candle itself! 😂 Naturally, I saved it for our scrapbooking.
Daisies seem to have quietly followed me throughout my whole life. They were there when I was young, when my husband proposed to me, on our wedding invitations and among the flowers at our ceremony. Even now, our wedding photograph sits on a cabinet in our home, surrounded by more little reminders of them.
When I started looking around properly, I noticed daisies everywhere, on the sheer curtains at the window, on a little rug, in my rings and earrings, and in the decorations hanging on the wall. I don’t think I had ever realised quite how many daisy things I had collected over the years! 😂 Perhaps the name Daisy Mae was waiting for me long before I knew it.
I have always been a very hyper person, constantly moving from one thing to another and feeling as though I should always be doing something. Only recently, now in my forties, have I started learning how to let go, slow down and listen to my surroundings instead of always rushing past them.
I love listening to ASMR and taking slow, relaxed walks. I am learning to notice the sounds around me, enjoy creating without worrying whether I am good at it and simply be present in an ordinary moment.
Perhaps snail mail, wrapping books and scrapbooking have become my hobbies without me even noticing. They are slowly bringing me back to the things I once enjoyed and, in a way, bringing little Marija back too.
Maybe we don’t always need to chase something bigger. Sometimes, we only need to stop long enough to notice what was already making us happy. 🌼
Thank you for spending a little time with me and my thoughts this week. Until next week, remember to slow down, notice the little things and enjoy whatever brings you a small moment of happiness.
With love,
Marija x
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